Thursday, September 30, 2010

Lantzing the Boil or Where in the World is Lantz?

On Monday, Lantz bravely - some would say, foolishly - volunteered to help us fill our holes....  ~gross...  in the posting schedule.

It turns out that his offer was genuine.  Here is Lantz from The Magnet Pro in all his glorious glory:

Lantz sez: "Me, drinking a hip apple-tini in a hip bar with assumed hip people. I'm hip."
Also, to make this as weird a scene as possible, here's a semi-related Haiku to kick off the official House of Paincakes Super Bad-ass Haiku Contest and Not-at-all Shameful Grab for Filler Content.*

The House of Paincakes
Awesomeness cuts like a knife
Old trout dies alone

So that's it for this first installment in what I hope will become a regular series here.  I think we'll learn something about life's greatest mysteries along the way.  Why does the human spirit feel the need to wander?  What is the meaning of community?  Do magnets work as explained by scientists or are those motherfuckers just lyin' and gettin' us pissed?  Why do I even have these night vision goggles?  Is plaid still hip or is it so fall 2009?

I will leave you with my own Haiku-
Dethtron's MBA
Program so boring; must go
on silk wings time flies

------[NOTES]----------
*Official rules:  your haiku most follow the 5/7/5 convention and the haiku must be, nominally, somehow related to the House of Paincakes.  Post your entry in the comments section of this post.  One entry per contestant.  No purchase necessary.  The winner(s) will be selected by the HoP admins and any agents we may designate.  The winner(s) will receive the dubious honor of having a filler post dedicated to their poem(s).

25 comments:

  1. Lantz I can't believe
    That you agreed to do this
    It's exploitation

    --------------------------------

    Shamelessly Whoring
    My Site on House of Paincakes
    Please check my blog out

    http://kavzar.blogspot.com/

    A fantasy blog
    Among so much forty k
    Could you spare some time

    ReplyDelete
  2. Work murders my soul
    I read blogs to fill the void
    But beer works better

    ReplyDelete
  3. I rate this Lucy Lu
    Faith to Nancy Pelosi
    Scaled just for your site

    ReplyDelete
  4. O M G What the
    This post makes no sense to me
    Urge to kill is rising ...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think fester has just turned the poetry world on its head with his trailblazing 5/7/6 haiku style

    oh shit, I forgot to reply in haiku

    Dethtron's class so dumb
    fellow students make up words
    orchenstrate not real

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes Truth Hurts Stelek
    Black Jack and Hookers Chumby
    Flapjacks and pain Brent

    ReplyDelete
  7. I do like to challenge!

    If you want a traditional one ....

    Kirby is my bitch
    Writing crap on 3 plus plus
    Read _my_ stuff its good

    ReplyDelete
  8. That drink is for girls
    One day we'll drink the right stuff
    Hippopotamus

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I heartily endorse Ghengis Vaughn's opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fester's the champion
    Noob is just one of my names
    doubt he will argue

    ReplyDelete
  12. The House of Paincakes
    Great Blogs; Mature Audience
    Join and Contribute

    ReplyDelete
  13. Saturday night check
    twelve posts have been sent so far
    Dave nailed the haiku

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jets Colts Rams Falcons
    Football Sundays are the best
    Bears over the Giants

    ReplyDelete
  15. It's a great world here
    Brent and Lauby swear for us
    we owe fealty

    weekly top x great
    shout outs and webby findings
    could be yours awesome

    it's a man's world here
    girls game with hearts thunder
    check World of Wonder

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ok this is NOT my contest entry, but a bunch of 40k Haiku I made up last year:

    marine cover saves
    are not that useful, except
    against lascannons

    dark eldar players
    don't really need a new book
    just run dark lance spam

    when orks lost choppas
    they got cheaper by three points
    I miss mob rule though

    most guys hate necrons
    should we blame their lame codex?
    or "Terminator"?

    daemonhunters own
    in a strange fantasy land
    that I just made up

    those darn vendettas
    pay sixty dollars and win
    so undercosted

    unemployed gamers
    they would all run those mech lists
    except they are broke

    old Jervis Johnson
    he's making warhammer bland
    he's no Rick Priestly

    ReplyDelete
  17. And here's my "entry"

    other blog networks
    have bullshit advertisements
    House of Paincakes rules

    ReplyDelete
  18. There once was a man from Nantucket.
    Is that where Dethtron's from? Oh fuck it.
    I'm feeling quite sleepy.
    Brent seems a bit creepy.
    House of Paincakes, haikus can suck it.

    (With that being said,
    I do, in fact, love haikus.
    Moreso when they're... fuck)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Three more days you guys
    Not a thing for the first loser
    except for crying

    ReplyDelete
  20. Brent will stalk bloggers
    Hell, he will stalk anyone
    Except for Not Brent

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dethtron is nasty
    Does he enjoy moving dicks?
    I hope that I'm wrong

    Lauby loves to paint
    But the paint won't love him back
    Haikus fill the void

    ReplyDelete
  22. Lance likes a gay drink
    I'm not really prejudiced
    We all just talk shit

    Appletinis, huh
    That's cool, I like girl drinks too
    Alcohol tastes bad

    ReplyDelete
  23. I like the haikus
    But who in the hell is Lance?
    chaosgerbil fail

    ReplyDelete
  24. Mistake realized late
    I blame the comment system
    No way to edit

    I'm so sorry Lantz
    Next time I insult your ass
    I'll spell your name right

    ReplyDelete
  25. One more post to add
    seven five seven format
    last day is today

    Who will win the 'prize'
    Only the House of Paincakes knows
    Internet glory awaits you

    get off your duff dude
    write a line or two or four
    you can do it easy

    Why only a few posts
    It might get easy after time passes
    Maybe Brent smells bad

    ReplyDelete