Loquacious is trying to get settled into the new Illinois Central Servicing Office of HOP. The building is undisquisedly ugly, cinder block and steel, with overly shiny floors from a massive coat of Simonizing wax.
There are no rock n roll posters, no tea cushions with frippery and no tentacle hentai. There is also a decided lack of painting tables or cat trees, and Lo is fussing about the office, shouting loudly:
WHERE IS MY THRONE????
It's true, Lauby cheaped out on the furniture, with everything ordered direct from
CubicleMart. Lo seems extra put out at her missing chair. She flumps down on a folding chair at her makeshift desk and simply pouts for a moment while she scrounges inside her everyday purse.
A UPX Driver enters the building and produces a SUPER PRIORITY Envelope.
"Ms. Uh.....Lock....Loqui---Locker...- what the hell is your name?"
"Loquacious. It means I talk a lot. People call me Lo. What do you have? More fan mail for the alien?"
"Um. No. It's a Signature Required item. For you."
Loquacious whips out a pen (because she always has at least one) and signs for the envelope.
The UPX driver hurries out, seemingly knowing the contents of the envelope are BadNews(Tm).
Lo opens the envelope and reads a letter which is apparently from Lauby. It is written in VeryBossyWords and Lo scowls at the page as it nearly screams at her
"Don't do this! Do that! Stand up straight! Get out of my way" and the like.
The queen of words "hmphs" as she finishes reading the paper. She is VeryMad and working up to TotallyPostal as she straightens things along her nearly empty desk.
"Been getting by on friendship for too long, huh? Gotta start pulling my weight, huh? Need to write a "PROPER" Top X, and "no Alien allowed", huh?"
Lo empties her purse onto the desktop and finds a pretty good sized bottle of Herradura Anejo along with pens, loose change, about 8 debit cards, gum wrappers and several checkbooks. She smiles, takes a good sniff, and then looks for a Dixie cup or other container to use so she can sip the good stuff. She finally finds a Solo Cup and she pours her self a snout while she begins typing.
"So I gotta write a Top X by myself, huh. And I gotta follow the RULES, huh? Lessee here.... Must be about HobbyInSomeWay. It HelpsIfItWillAppealToThe OtherWritersOfHOP. Be Specific. No Help from ThatAlien. and.... FEATURE BLOGS YOU HAVE NEVER FEATURED BEFORE."
Lo takes a good, long sip on her golden liquid, and begins reciting, to herself, the blogs for Top X this week.
1.) Corbiana Prime : Eldar Ressurected
Lauby should like that one. It's all those fancy SpaceElves -so pretty. Rediscovering hobby after a long time is also a bonus. Hobby AND Xenos stuffs should go well.
2.) Garganthar : Painting Updates And More- Hobgoblins and Lava Bases
Von should like this one. It's got those fun Hobgoblins and fancy bases and such. Turkish gamer, to boot. Nice!
3.) Paint Bard : Almost There, Almost There
This one's for Brent...if he's still part of our crew... I can't even see if he has a desk.. since...
well...
she makes finger quote motions
FIRE BAD....
4.) Send Three Squads To Help : Magnetizing Carnifex
Well despite that model being a deathdealing bitch to take on, this is a nice tutorial on magnetizing a mini. Definitely HobbyRelated! Von used to like Cryxx, so; bonus?
Lo is sipping away at her drink and is on her way to LitUp as she continues. She checks the paper to make sure it doesn't say "no swearing" and proceeds.
5.) Do You Have A Flag : Custom Space Marine Draco Banner
Another Brit, doing fine HobbyWork. With a PAPERCLIP! A man after my own heart, knows how to use office supplies to make art and not UGLY---
Dethtron would probably like this- I mean, it's home made instead of spending lots of cash. Plus, it fits into a very metal theme. Yeah, Dethy should love this.
She glares around the office in a very specific manner, noting a lack of "pretty". She looks one more time in her purse and finds several bottles of OPI polish. She gets a decidedly wicked grin but continues along with her assignment.
6.) The Istvaanians : More Mutants Sighted
This one should make my Xenos buddy happy. I mean, Choas is awesome, and this is tons of fun hobby stuffs the guy is doing. He didn't care what the rules said! He just made things up. Yeah, that sounds like stuff SinSynn would like.
Lo has given up on sipping her beverage and is now taking small gulps. She has moved into NotQuiteDrunk territory and seems to be talking to the paper.
"I will totally bust into Prince songs whenever the heck I want. You can't stop me!"
7.) Turn 7 Wargaming : Battle Report - Tyranids vs Space Wolves
Ooooooooooh! A battle report! HOP used to be all about these. This should make everyone happy! Xenos, battle report, nice models... what else do they want?
8.) Farseer With a Brush : Cutting Costs: Sculpting Tools
Well, this one is perfect for Dethtron's Gaming on A Budget Series... it's a series, and it's talking about important things in a hobbyist's arsenal.... Yeah, good stuff here.
9.) FreshCoast40K : With A Little Help From My Friends
Ok, so this one isn't hobby related. But which one of us is gonna complain about pimping a friend's MUSIC when we do it all the time? Dethtron? Yeah, right. NORDOR will come kick his butt. Lauby? Uh, no way. SinSynn? If he so much as TRIES to protest I'll tie him down and make him listen to Adele. And Von? After all the times I have subbed for him? Yeah. Didn't think so.
10.) Miasma of Pestilence : First Try At Airbrushing
Yeah, I better finish with some hobbying. I mean, I can only break the rules SOME of the time, right? Well, the guy has a new toy and shows us all the stuff he did with it. Fancy!
With that, Lo seems to remember she was DoingSomething and looks back at her desk. Her mostly empty bottle of liquor and several small bottles of premium fashion lacquer sit in plain sight, and Lo begins to sing "Housequake" very loudly.
She begins painting the legs of her desk with Girly Glam and adds Number One Nemesis along the edge of the desktop. She smiles and then finishes off with SaveMe.
"yeah, that's fancy... and pretty.... much better. I think I need more booze, though."
FTB....





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