You're here to win, then..."
- Sleigh Bells, from Rill Rill
So there I am deploying my stuffs, when he starts with his nonsense...
'Are you sure that's where you wanna put that?'
'Wadda you mean?' I reply casually, but my eyes are frantically darting around the tabletop attempting to find fault with my placement.
'This looks good to me, actually,' I state cautiously, 'Why, wadda you think? It's not good? I've got cover, good lanes of fire....Wadda you sayin'?'
He shrugs, lookin' all smug and whatnot.
'Look, man, I'm not sayin' nuthin.' All I'm doin' is asking you if yer sure that's where yer gonna put that unit. That's all.'
'Yeah, but the way you said it....you made it sound like I was making a mistake...am I making a mistake?'
Sigh- despite the fact that this lil' ritual of ours inevitably plays out like 'Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football' (with me being Charlie Brown, naturally), here I am falling for it again..like a dumbass...
Now comes the laugh...his evil, stupid laugh ...'Hurr-hurr-hurr'
'Why would I tell you that? What possible purpose would that serve? How would that benefit me? In what way?'
'It would help with your karma, you friggin' jerk, to maybe help a brother out once in a while. It would help us to have a better game, if we maybe played in a friendlier manner.'
'What better game? What are you babbling about? I wanna crush you. Same as you wanna crush me, pal.'
I stare at him for a moment ...
'...Yeah, yer right about that...'
'Hurr-hurr-hurr'
Have I mentioned that I hate my buddy, the Ultimate Rival?
 | |
| *Yeah, that's him* |
You know how it is with yer long time friends: you love 'em, you hate 'em, they drive you crazy.
They're pretty much fixtures in your life, for better or for worse.
Waddayagonnado?
Suffer, amirite?
:P
So last week the phone rings (you know- the landline in the kitchen. I just got a cellphone this week so alla youse can shaddup), and despite the fact that I run for it, the Crazy Lady I Live With gets there first.
...this is never good...
After greeting him sweetly (cuz she loves the Ultimate Rival, despite my attempts to convince her exactly how evil he is), she listens for a moment...
'Wow, he's lost how many games in a row? Really? Well I know he's not too bright, but that seems...'
She fends me off, ninja-style, as I snatch at the handset...
'Gimmedaphone. Gimmedaphone. Gimmedaphone. Gimmedaphone. Goddammit, gimmedaphone!'
'Uh-huh. Well, that doesn't surprise me. He can't walk from one room to the other here in the apartment without tripping on something...'
'You put the cat's waterbowl in the middle of the floor. Every. Friggin.' Time. Now gimmedaphone.'
'Yeah, well...you don't hafta live with him,' she pauses and chuckles at some witty rejoinder, 'I know, right? Anyway, here he is...'
As she hands me the phone, she gives me a stern look.
'You're lucky to have such a good friend, who puts up with your crap, y'know.'
I make the 'what did I do' face as I carefully, oh-so-carefully, take the phone from her. Terran females are lethal in close quarters, and can strike without warning. I let out a relieved breath when she stalks off with a 'hmpf.'
 |
| *Funny thing is, they're still cute...right up 'til the minute they kill you* |
The Ultimate Rival is still laughing as I put the phone to my ear.
'Hurr-hurr-hurr.'
'Wadda you want? Are you calling to threaten me about tomorrow's game, or what?'
'No, I'm calling to say I'm not gonna make tomorrow's game in fact. I started a new project.'
...and right then, a bad feeling sets in. It's a familiar feeling, one I've felt before.
Whatever the Ultimate Rival is about to say is gonna cost me a bunch of money...
I'm doomed.
'Oh, really,' I stammer fearfully, 'and pray tell, what is this project?'
'I started building Blood Angels.'
...
There was more, of course. Some nonsense about how his five year old got a hold of the codex, and pestered him into building them.
...like I'd ever believe that...
Some excuse about how he's curious about 6th Edition, cuz he played those test games and whatnot.
...Yeah, whatevs...
He misses the modeling aspect. He wants to work on some real models.
...Ok, well...40k models are nice. So what yer sayin' is...
He's gonna start playin' 40k again. We've talked about this. I shouldn't be surprised, he says.
....I hate you. You know that, don't you?
Hurr-hurr-hurr
So I bought one of these:
 |
| *Iz very nice...as much as it pains me to admit* |
And I broke down and dropped fifty, count 'em, fifty dollars on one of these:
 | ||
| *Iz ok, but it ain't all that. And, really....FIFTY BUCKS? Sigh, and I paid for it. What a sucka -_-* |
And yes, I will be building a Chaos Army.
Why?
MOAR TENTACLES, THAT'S WHY.
Nyah.
So, there ya have it, folks. I'm back in.
SHADDUP, AND DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!
All I can do is ruefully shake my head, as I push my brand new Flames of War Open Fire box aside (it's really nice, too, but...sigh...) to make room for 40k, again.
....
Waddayagonnado?
DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPEROR!
:)
Until next time, folks- Exit with catchphrase!
-SinSynn
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